I Feel Blue

Well it has crept up on me. I've been trying to silence it but the ugliness is starting to rear its head. Thankfully I'm keeping it to myself because I'm sure no one wants to listen to it.

I have a serious case of the "would have should haves" and it's really eating at me. We should be celebrating this Christmas with a 1 month old baby and the fact that we aren't is killing me. We're not even pregnant again and I was certain that we would be. I'm starting to get that panic that maybe last time was a complete fluke, maybe we can't get pregnant easily, maybe something's wrong. Logically I know that we're only one our 4th cycle TTCing again and that's totally normal but the crazed woman who so desperately wants to start a family with her husband is screaming inside and wondering when luck will turn in our favour.

Aren't I a treat!

Despite all of this I'm going to try to enjoy Christmas as it's a holiday that we love so much. It's just going to take some effort this year.

Bah Humbug.